Here Come The Mummies – Survive flurries in Charlotte
Colder than a witches tit and freakier than one too!
Photos by: Kevin McGee
The best thing about Southern hospitality is sharing it with the undead. They are easy to please, and if it’s cold it doesn’t affect them. And let’s be serious, surviving Charlotte traffic during rain or snow is pretty much impossible – so it’s best you’re the undead making its way into the CLT on a night like tonight. The rain drenched the mummy threads just enough to see some nipple but their mysterious identities will still be going with them to the grave.
Not too far from his home in SC, soulful singer Noah Guthrie was the opener of the night, whose temperament voice is angelic and raspy. The tone for the crowd was attentive and lost all in their feelings. It’s not the words he says, though the lyrics lead your heart to feel what is going on, but even if you could not understand the language, he was singing with emotion that would break your heart all over again. If you’ve never seen him on Glee, you might have been treated with his music on NBC, The Today Show, or The Tonight Show, as well as Dancing with the Stars. He takes well known songs and makes them his own, most notably LMFAO’s “Sexy and I Know It,” which has 25 million views to date. Though his original content is just as engaging, yesterday he released a first-time original Christmas song “Little Light,” available for free download. On the back of his newest album out this year, The Valley, a powerful dialogue of strength and struggle. If you take anything away from this artist, his natural talent is a brightness on the stage and with his show you are blinded by the light.
What better way to get primed for a sexy show than to get all the tears out of the way first. A good cry, a moment to get yourself together, and then here they come, bringing the fun with ‘em. One by one, the mummies took over the stage for the remainder of the night.
First thing to know about a HCTM show is you never know what to expect. Are they creeping in the crowd pre-show, chatting up the fans? Are they sneaking up in the balcony to heckle the openers? Are the freaks who come out around song 4-5 with the huge flags behind the bar? Is the bus a tomb, hosting precious gold and myrrh and extra wraps?
Each set you are sure to find a few super mummies in the crowd. Last time I attended, I have to say that we had alterna mummy and sexy mummy pop their tits out and shout like they just didn’t care. I’ll leave up to you to tell which is which! (insert photo of Molly and me as mummies at the show)
If Dave Matthews Band, Kool and the Gang, Foxy Shazam, X Ambassadors, George Clinton, Black Keys, and Deadpool had a love child, you have the bliss that is HCTM. The funkdafied boo’s come to party and no one parties quite like the dead.
What to know about HCTM:
- They are encased in an air of mystery. NO one knows who they are, rumor has it due to record label constraints they can’t reveal their identity. It’s a revolving door band, you never know which mummies you are going to see on the stage at any given time. The others are on tour.
- A “Freak Flag” flies at all their shows. Literal mummies Freak 1 and Freak 2 come out and travel around the venue with said flags.
- Many fans will dress up as mummies themselves and may or may not make tiny mummettes during the duration of the set.
- Sunglasses at night, inside, are completely acceptable accessories
- They have some sweet dance moves, get air with jumps, and tend to hump at and with anything not bolted down. I’ll admit I’ve wanted to be that floor once or twice. (insert pic of them humping floor like they always do)
- If you dig brass or double-brass, strings, and several types of percussion on stage – this is the concert for you! Technically they are bananas. Each band member plays several instruments with precision. Their funk show is choc full of instrumental break downs even sexy sax and trumpet solos, you don’t get that often!
- “Ra Ra Ra” live is quite possibly one of the most perfect songs in existence to dance to.
- Every song is laced with sexual innuendos and meant to stimulate every part of you!
Hall of Fame:
We are going to take a crack at this again, who we think MIGHT be the Mummies…
Mummy Cass – Paul Meany
Eddie Mummy – Eddie Money
K.W. TuT – Eric Nally
Spaz – Mike Einziger
The Pole! – Wayne Coyne
Midnight – Ryan Reynolds
“The Flu” – Dan Auberbach
B.B. Queen – Bruno Mars
Ra – Biggie Smalls
H.P.O.D. – John Mayer
The reincarnated Grammy-winning studio musicians are a hoot of a good time, and a must for any playlist when you need that do good feeling. They are currently on tour around the US, and are coming to a town near you. Catch this fun!
Catch this tour: